Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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