So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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