were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
