it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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