I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She's not a foreskin expert like you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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