$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
