Four minutes until I can fart!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
