eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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