Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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