I hope mine doesn't look like that
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
