Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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