hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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