You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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