I've blown a few things in my day
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
