Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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