This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
