we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
