Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sext me about skeletons
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
