Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
