If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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