some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
