Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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