Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
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He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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