my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
