I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize