why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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