I think I won the penis lottery.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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