can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
