My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize