You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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