You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
