He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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