Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
