you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
