3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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