Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
