Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
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highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
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I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun