she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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