I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
