32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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