I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
