We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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