thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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