Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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