We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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