Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize