The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize