FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
