HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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