the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
