the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
