Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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