entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
