she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
