He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
