i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
