arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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