I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
